One of the most unfortunate things about being an American sports fan is you’re relentlessly inundated with erectile dysfunction advertisements. Are you unable to perform like you used to? Having trouble getting it up? Not making enough hard contact?
The saving grace is these inquiries are generally quarantined to the commercial breaks. But lately, and especially tonight, the bottom half of every inning at Fenway Park is resembling one of these uncomfortable questionnaires.
The Red Sox didn’t just get shutout tonight. They were held to a mere two hits over 6.1 innings against Luis Gil, who entered the game with a 7.00 ERA and has stuff so underwhelming, even this lineup walked more times (three) than they struck out (twice). Not a single pitch thrown by a Yankee arm tonight registered higher than 96mph, and the Red Sox couldn’t do anything in the box. These are the games you’re supposed to post crooked numbers! If the Sox are getting shutout and frankly not coming close to scoring runs against this competition, what are they possibly going to look like when they start facing some real flamethrowers?
Accompanying this latest listless performance was an 0-7 effort with runners in scoring position, which now leaves Boston with a .159 batting average with runners in scoring position on this homestand.
Needless to say given the score, the bats once against failed to go deep, which means they’ve now hit just five home runs in their last 16 games. During this stretch, they’re more likely to score two runs or less in the game (seven times) than they are to hit a home run at any point in the game (five times).
The at bats were so terrible and widespread in this one, it’s not even worth dissecting any key moments because there weren’t any that stood out. It was just one never-ending conveyor belt of uninspiring and boring at bats. They were so bad they didn’t even create a key spot in the game to fail in.
On the mound, Connelly Early was mostly solid until the sixth inning when he lost command of the zone and walked three guys. The overall outing was a mixed bag, but with a normal offense, this would have been enough to make it a competitive game that likely would have been decided in a nail biter in the ninth.
Unfortunately, the impotency of this lineup is anything buy normal. Ask your front office if a power hitter is right for you.
No player is going in this category tonight, but we can give it to …
The Pitch Timer: Not only did it get this disaster class game over with in a reasonable amount of time, but it also provided a couple of the most interesting exchanges of the night (both involving Jose Caballero).
In the sixth inning, when Jack Anderson came in to relieve Connelly Early, Caballero successfully baited Anderson into a violation twice by waiting until the eight second mark (when you have to be ready and address the pitcher) to address Anderson. As a result, Anderson was early both times and got called for it.
But then, Anderson showed us a little something and came back to to strike out Caballero, including on a perfect pitch down and in on 3-2.
Then in the eighth, Caballero got the tables turned on him and ended up getting rung up on a pitch timer violation of his own.
Not only has the pitch timer improved the game by tightening it back to where it was for the majority of last century, but it also provides some drama as teams push the edge.
It really should be the entire offense, but we’ll specifically give it to the three guys who never got on base.
Wilyer Abreu: 0-4 tonight, and his OPS has fallen from 1.101 to .796 over his last nine games.
Masataka Yoshida: 0-4, easily his worst day at the dish so far this season.
Strikeouts: 0-3 with two strikeouts. The only reason he wasn’t 0-4 like the others is because the lineup was so bad it didn’t get around to him again. He’s now hitting .155 with a .475 OPS on the season.
There was this really sweet highlight reel catch from Ceddanne Rafaela tonight. It’s just too bad it happened late in this complete nothing game instead of to keep the score tied in the eighth or something like that.
Looking ahead to tomorrow, this offense gets to face Max Fried. I’ve been told it’s not possible to score negative runs in a baseball game, but if it is, these guys are going to find it soon.