When Real Madrid announced that Florentino Pérez would hold an emergency press conference, the football world held its breath. Would he announce José Mourinho's dramatic return? Would he lash out at referees after Barcelona clinched LaLiga? Or—wildest of all—would the 79-year-old president finally step down?

Instead, what unfolded was a press conference that left everyone speechless. Pérez revealed the club would hold presidential elections, then launched into a bizarre, Trump-esque defense of his own health, made sexist remarks to two female reporters, and downplayed training ground fights that had made headlines. Here are the ten most jaw-dropping quotes from that unforgettable afternoon.

Let's be honest: by Real Madrid's sky-high standards, the last two seasons have been a letdown. But Pérez insisted the elections weren't about trophies. "I've made this decision because an absurd situation has been created," he declared, "provoked by campaigns against the interests of Real Madrid and against me." He added, "The results haven't been the best, but in sport you don't always win. They're taking advantage of the situation to attack me personally."

Pérez has been Real Madrid's president since 2009, and before that from 2000 to 2006. In all that time, he's never faced an opponent in elections—thanks to strict rules requiring candidates to be club members for 20 years and have deep enough pockets to fund their campaigns. But now, with tensions running high and the club at a crossroads, the pressure is on like never before.